Tuesday, April 19, 2011
So today was an amazing morning. I spent it with my beautiful nephew who makes me laugh until my abdomin hurts and he is only 2. When he left I began to do a couple of things that I had needed to get done and stumbled across an old picture of my aunt and grandmother. Because I actually stopped to look at it for more than a few seconds I started crying uncontrollably. I miss her so much. She was my rock in this life. When it rains it pours and opens doors that floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry. Well I feel like not only is my floor flooded but at times I am drowning in everything I consider to be "Less than Perfect." Today started off amazing and turned into another day that was not as expected. I find myself trying to correct every mistake that I have made up until this point of my life and still feel as if I am getting kicked in the ass. In fact I know I am. I finally sat down facing my huge french doors of my living room and looked outside. I closed my eyes and said you need to not be so hard on yourself. Just as my grandma would. "You will get everything worked out." I always did because she was there to believe in me. When I look to the sky, something tells me you're here with me and you make everything alright. When I feel like there is know one that will ever know me, here you are to show me. I felt like I was lost, so I picked up the phone called my mother, Just to say Hi, and felt like you just showed me my way, all because I look to you.....in the sky. I believe in myself.