Monday, March 26, 2012
What a long, emotional week. My grandfather died this week and it just so happened to be on the same day as my grandmother 4 years ago. I kept asking why this was happening to me and my family and what was the purpose. I still have yet to figure it out. I question whether or not I trully believe in a divine power. I know one thing....I wish I would have gotten to him sooner. When my grandma passed away I didn't go home to see her. I couldn't bear it. I was feeling so much pain with her being sick I just could not go and watch her die. I never got to say goodbye and today I regret it, much like I regret not following my instincts and going when I felt it were right. Now I face the same feeling of regret I did with my grandmother. My grandparents loved me very dearly and always made sure that I knew it. Now I can only hold on to the wonderful memories that they have given to me and pray that I never have them taken from me. Thank You Grandma and Grandpa for providing me with such a wonderful family I am truly greatful for the gifts you have given to me. Last night I had a crazy dream, a wish was granted just for me. It could be for anything. I didn't ask for money or a mansion in malibu. I someday wished for one more day with you. One more day. One more time. One more sunset and maybe I would be satisfied. But then again, I know what it would do.....It would leave me wishing still for one more day with you. One more day! First thing I would do is pray for time to stop, I'd unplug the telephone and turn the tv off. I'd hold you every second and say a million "I love You's" Thats what I would do with one more day with you. One more day. One more time. One more sunset and maybe I'd be satisfied. But then again I know what it would do.....It would leave me wishing still for one more day with you!