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Friday, February 3, 2012

Special Moments.....

There are these moments I have in my life that seem completely unrealistic.  Moments that feel as though, I  myself can not understand that they are happening to me. Almost as if they are a fantasy.  I can only achieve these moments when I am with one person.  It is a sad thing when you come to the realization that you are deeply in love with someone that is completely wrong for you but still you gravitate towards them because they have given you so many of these "Special Moments."  When is the right moment to stop and say, "What am I really doing?"  That was my night 2 days ago.  Its funny how the most spectacular moments somehow are the most promising and yet deadly.  For the last 8 years I have toyed with the argument of "Soul Mates" only exist in fairytales.  Last night my realization was that I have already found my soul mate, I just don't get to paint my own portrait, someone else is painting it for me.  Things never seem to go the way I picture it.  I never knew I could have a connection that was so life altering and heart wrenching.  When he holds me I feel complete even if it only lasts for a couple of hours everything that is bothering just goes away.  The only thing I see is his heart.  I sit back and realize how dependent I am on feelings of the heart but I would like to believe that moments like the ones with Mike are real and everlasting.  For someone who hasn't made a committment to me he has given me 7 years with no indication of an ending in the near future and this is why the special moments matter.

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